Healing through Transparency
The events of this year have shaken many of us to our core. Whether one is willing to admit it or not, there was not one person who wasn't affected by the earthquake we know as 2020. Though invisible, inaudible, intangible we all saw, heard, and felt the affects of this phenomenon that has often been personified as big, bad, and ugly. I must admit, I thought I had acquired all the necessary tools (faith, education, life experience) to face hardship. However, no one could predict and prepare for the irregularities and fluctuations we witnessed. I started the year off in a hustle like many of us: commuting back and forth to work, taking care of family, attending church and social functions, planning family events for the year, etc. During the initial shutdown, "the hustle" had been stripped away. The stripping revealed that many of my routine activities were being using as distractions from problems that weren't being addressed. When sports, school, travel, and even church was pulled away from the masses, I realized that my experience was a mere microcosm of a larger issue. Like many of us, I was now faced with sitting in my emotions and addressing some inner truths. I experienced personal loss, weight gain, sickness and death of loved ones, yet I had no "go to" distractions to help me avoid any of it. Additionally, the psychological and emotional turmoil I felt witnessing the injustice and racial disparities being displayed week after week was absolutely draining. Between my own personal problems coupled with "our" pandemic (Yes, it belongs to us all!), I sometimes felt too exhausted to pray. Yep! A believer just admitted to not having the energy to pray. I honestly think I had become numb to all of the pain. That's when I would listen to music or record my feelings in my journal. I began to groan in the spirit. Those groans began to harmonize, reflecting a familiarity of sounds much like the prayers of my ancestors. A phone call with a friend discussing our current state, resulted in us both saying "Ooh Jesus!" continuously throughout our conversation. I told her I was gonna write a song, not as an exploitation of my journey, but as a testimony! I got off the phone, opened my prayer journal and began to write "Ooh Jesus!" The soulful groans (sung by my mother, sister, and myself) open the song and help render my cries of "Ooh Jesus!" Allowing myself to be transparent was difficult. However, I want people to know it's ok to not be ok. Call on our Savior and start speaking life into your situation. Speak life into our nation. It won't be like this always. We will make it though this! Look for "Ooh Jesus!" by The Canty Singers on all digital outlets. Available for purchase now in iTunes, Apple Music, & Amazon.